The role of both men and women has been affected over the recent years. This change has been seen in many areas such as parenthood, relationships, marriages and etc. For example in the past, a woman’s place was known to be in the kitchen but nowadays a woman can flourish in any career they choose to pursue.
Bushbuckridge News recently went to the streets to find out what most people from Bushbuckridge think about the issue of women proposing marriage. The Publication learned that most of them were against this issue, one of these people is Ms. Maureen Malele who said that it will always be wrong for a woman to propose marriage to a man.
Malele said that if a woman proposes marriage to a man, this man might agree to this marriage even though he knows that he has his own issues. She said that when they later encounter problems in their marriage this man will then maintain his innocence telling the wife that he didn’t want to marry her in the first place. She also added that it is wrong for women to pay their own lobola as it will always be against the African culture.
“It is wrong for women to propose marriage because a man has to be the one deciding that he is ready to take a woman, even when you buy a clothing item at a shop, you look at it and compare it to others before deciding on the one you want to take. The same applies to women, what if she does propose marriage and I am not ready”, said Mr. Robert Ndlovu.
Ms. Olga Matsane also said that it is wrong for women to propose marriage to men. Matsane said it is up to a man to decide if he wants the woman as his wife or not. She added that a woman might ask a man to marry her and this man might agree, knowing very well that he doesn’t love this woman, he just wants to use her as his puppet. She said that won’t be of any advantage to a woman.
Themba Godi also sang the same tune. He said it is wrong for women to propose marriage to men because nowadays women are only after money; they no longer have true love. He said this is the same thing that makes them have babies with men they don’t really love because they are only looking at the financial benefits of having kids with these guys.
“It is wrong for women to propose marriage to men because men are the ones who are supposed to propose marriage. If it is not like that it means a woman is the one going after a man which is totally wrong and against our culture. If she is the one proposing marriage it means she is after something, like the property I have. She knows that if she doesn’t get married to me then she won’t get the things I have. If I don’t have anything she won’t propose marriage to me, nowadays love is money” said Mr. Daniel Mhlanga.
Ms. Mavis Mobu put it simply and said that it is wrong for women to propose marriage because a man is the one who is supposed to be marrying a woman and not the other way round. Mr. Elliot Monareng also sang the same tune saying that it once happened in 1981 that a law was passed that even made it legal for women to marry men. He said he is not sure where that law ended up because it would be very difficult for a man to be married by a woman because women are very problematic once they are in power, so men won’t stand that.
However, not everyone is against the issue of women proposing marriage, one of these people is Mr. Owen Ngwenyama who told Bushbuckridge News that a woman proposes marriage to a man because she is in love with him. Ngwenyama said that even if it is like that a man still has to pay lobola, he said that if a man is not financially well at the time when his woman is proposing marriage he can explain that to her. He said they can get married legally and the man can then pay lobola later,
“it is not wrong for a woman to propose lobola to a man because as a human being a woman is also supposed to speak up when she wants something, anyway, who knows that this woman might be your soul mate?” said Mr. Thabo Mpangane.
Mr. Fanious Mashile said also said that it is not wrong for women to propose marriage because nowadays women are independent and they also contribute to lobola money. He said a woman might be working while a man is not, so the woman, because she has to contribute, or rather pay lobola is the one who knows the financial situation, so it is only fair that she be the one who proposes marriage.
Neo Mokwena put in both perspectives, he said it is right for women to propose marriage because culturally, a woman must be married and be made into a wife, as our culture dictates, so women have to take action if there is nothing coming from their partners. Mokwena said it is wrong because these days love is not guaranteed.
“She might ask you to marry her but you find that she doesn’t really love you, so you end up paying lobola for this woman only for her to leave or play with your feelings” added Mokwena.